Inside the Trump Campaign:  August 20,2020

R.P.  How are we doing on that cease-and-desist with CNN.  The fake poll numbers?

L.C.  They aren’t ceasing or desisting.  We’re still suing.

R.P.  Are we still suing Brad Parscale over the numbers?

L.C.  Brad was running the campaign.  Our campaign.

R.P.  Yeah but the numbers weren’t good.

L.C.  I can see that.

R.P.  What about the other CNN suit?  The one with the NY Times and Washington Post, you know the libel suits?

L.C.  That was an opinion piece, right?  That Mueller should have charged the President?

R.P.  Libel.

L.C.  Not libel, but, no, nothing.

R.P.  We’re suing New Jersey about the mail-in ballots.

L.C.  Hadda do that.

R.P.  What about Goodyear?

L.C.  What about Goodyear?

R.P.  They don’t let worker wear MAGA hats.

L.C.  Can they do that?

R.P.  They say they have a policy against wearing politically affiliated clothing.  Black Lives Matter is ok, apparently, but MAGA hats specifically not ok.

L.C.  We’ll probably sue Goodyear.

R.P  We may have to sue Akron and Ohio too.

L.C.  For what?

R.P.  Well, after the tweet, the Mayor of Akron got all feisty, threw in LeBron, and since Ohio is a swing state, if we don’t have the numbers in November, Ohio would be …

L.C.  What tweet?

R.P.  Perfectly understandable.  Just said … wait, I’ve got it here.  “Don’t Buy Goodyear tires…”

L.C.  Hang on!  he said what?

R.P.  Sure, “Don’t Buy Goodyear Tires. They banned MAGA hats.  Get better tires for far less.  (This is what the radical Democrats do.  Two can play the same game, and we have to start playing it now!)”

L.C.  I can’t help myself.  I’ll come back to the swing state issue in a second, but I was an English major.  “This is what radical Democrats do”?  ‘This’ is an unclear referent.  What is that radical Democrats do?  Not buy tires?  Get better tires?”

R.P.  Ban hats, obviously.

L.C.  OK, but …

R.P.  Don’t get all pencil necked on this.  Big Picture.

L.C.  Uh, the big picture is that the President of the United Sates just asked Americans not to buy tires made by American workers.

R.P.  I don’t think that was the message.

L.C.  “Don’t Buy” is pretty clear.  Other tires are better and cheaper?  

R.P.  The issue is the hat thing.

L.C.  Not for people working at Goodyear.

R.P.  Now you sound like the Mayor of Akron.

L.C.  What did he say?  

R.P.  Talk about over the top wacko reaction!

L.C.  Harsh?

R.P.  “First you came to destroy American decency.  Next, you came to destroy American institutions.  Now you’re coming to destroy the American economy and heartland jobs.  Luckily, you seem to fail at everything you do.”  I’d call that harsh.

L.C.  Yeah, but “Don’t Buy Goodyear”…

R.P.  You gotta draw the line somewhere.

L.C.  Maybe not in Ohio during an election year?

R.P.  I get it.  You think this is like a normal campaign.

L.C. Uh, it’s not?

R.P.  This is a Fifth Avenue campaign.  Remember?

L.C.  What does Fifth Avenue have to do with …

R.P.  “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters.  It’s like incredible.”

L.C.  Incredible.

R.P.  So, you ready to start the Kamala suit?

L.C.  For …?

R.P.  Libel.

L.C.  Uh…

R.P.  She called him a predator.

L.C. You do know what libel is, right?