Republican Convention  

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Look, I’m going to take the time to take snarky shots at the Trump campaign and at the Republican National Convention, maybe you’ll take the time to read it, but in terms of presenting the candidate and the plan for the next four years, nothing about the event matters.  I’ve written about this as the Fifth Avenue Campaign, referring to Trump’s breathtaking assertion that he could shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue and not lose a single vote. A terrifying sequence of interviews of Trump supporters conducted by the Daily Show’s Jordan Kepler demonstrated the unshakable loyalty of the President’s supporters (and the terrifying gap between an informed and responsible citizenry and overweight white zombies in MAGA hats), pretty much validates the Fifth Avenue thesis.

Would it matter WHO Trump shot in the middle of Fifth Avenue?  Nope.  The folks who are his base operate on a closed loop.  Trump good, no matter what.  Anyone who questions him bad, no matter what.  Very bad.  A gigantic and elaborate mix of conspiracy and viral enmeshment operates to protect Trump from accountability.  So, not only is his nomination assured, the tone of his campaign will come as no surprise. 

Although many of the details of the upcoming convention remain undisclosed, a few key points are now emerging.

The press is not invited as the convention will kick off on Monday with the official business of the convention carried out in Charlotte. N.C.  A bold statement of the Party’s conviction that re-election has very little to do with what pencil necked geeks in New York think of the party and its nominee. 

The more celebratory moments begin on Tuesday with an address by former model and holder of the Alien of Extraordinary Ability visa Melania Trump who will speak on “The Land of Promise”, followed on Wednesday by the effervescent former radio and television talk show host,Vice President, Mike Pence, who will speak on “The Land of Opportunity” , and on Thursday by the President speaking on “The Land of Greatness”.  Pence will speak from Fort McHenry, the Trumps from the White House, despite the provisions of what is known informally as the Hatch Act, passed in 1939 as “An Act To Prevent Pernicious Political Activities”.  

Some would argue that as the Hatch Act is Federal Law, and as it specifically prohibits the use of public works for political purposes, the President has chosen to accept his party’s nomination without regard for the rule of law, a bold statement in 2020.

In addition to the President, his wife, and the Vice President, speakers are scheduled to include his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and Mark and Patricia McLoskey, who waved firearms at Black Lives Matter protesters in St. Louis.  

“It  Doesn’t Matter What We Do Or Say”, the unofficial theme of the campaign.

The RNC has decided that the platform presented in 2016 will remain unchanged.  The document, presented at the last convention by Senator John Barrasso, Governor Mary Fallin, and Representative Virginia Fox, begins with a statement of American exceptionalism then identifies the failures of the Obama administration.  Although there is much to be said for using work that already exists, there is some concern that the recycling of the document leaves some room for misinterpretation, as it might in this passage:

“The President has been regulating to death a free market economy that he doesn’t like and doesn’t understand. He defies the laws of the United States by refusing to enforce those with which he does not agree.  And he appoints judges who legislate from the bench rather than apply the law.”

I am reminded of the film Meatballs, the breakout film for both Ivan Reitman and Bill Murray and the highest grossing Canadian film distributed in the U.S.until Resident Evil: Afterlife blew past it.  Set at Camp North Star, a bargain basement camp located in the north woods, the film draws its title from the affectionate term Murray, as head counselor Tripper Harrison uses in speaking with the young campers placed in his care.  There are many camp pranks and mildly romantic after hours liaisons, but at the heart of the tale is the annual and entirely expected drubbing Camp North Star will take at the well manicured hands of Camp Mohawk.  

The kids find the expectation of taking a beating disspiriting, but Trapper delivers an inversion of the “Win One For The Gipper” exhortation, reminding the children that no matter how hard they try, no matter what efforts are made, the Camp Mohawks of the world will always triumph over the proles at Camp North Star.  Leaping into action at the bonfire, Murray as Trapper introduces the camp’s new rallying cry: “It Just Doesn’t Matter”.

Ghastly, hurtful, and perhaps untrue things will be said as the convention endorses Trump’s presidency.  Sensitive souls among us, including this battered blogger, will reel in disbelief and pain as the counter-reality of life in America is trumpeted.  

The convention will be a Fifth Avenue coronation, and no matter how egregiously the speakers slaughter factual evidence of presidential malfeasance  …

It Just Doesn’t Matter